lately due to many reasons (basically relating to sickness/medicines and such), i've been feeling that melancholy mood, something i haven't felt in ages. it may sound crazy, but in some ways this melancholy coldness, alone-ness, it's so empowering. maybe because the last time i've experienced this was back in highschool, when i was 15-16, and was the least sure of myself.. but this time around, i am so much more in control of it than i was then. maybe it's because i'm sure of myself but also because i have support from my special dears, and also because i know these feelings are not from me but caused by factors that will get better!it's just sooo liberating...!
at this time, what i love to do is re-listen to super old music from the past.. gackt, hyde, laruku, malice mizer, escaflowne, etc.
and also find NEW songs that feel great to listen to: pandora hearts in particular..(reminds me of you!)
(lovely image from here)the best part? i'm not alone.... i remember being very touched to find out that fishy was feeling that way (or a lot that way) for most of his life, so he understands... and so we can listen to things together and share in this sweet melancholy feeling.. sounds very cliche but very very very .. 'real' haha...
i am so glad i found that escaflowne soundtrack for him.....
my mission is to learn "parting song" and melody (eliot and leo version!) and play for him xD
for anyone who hasn't already, please go and read/watch/listen to pandora hearts.. it's absolutely beautiful... i can't wait to see/read more of it! :D
i had a great lunch today with two of my pals from work... discussing vacations is one of the best ways to cope with stress.. (then somehow managing on going on them is another method haha)
i also was soooo glad to see the Js in HK when they stopped by..... it was like a dream.. and hopefully they'll visit somewhere and we can meet up again soon!!! love love love you guys!
current mood:
lovely lovely day today...ara~ can't wait to see youuuuuuuuu :D :lots of hearts:
1 comments:
aww its been a while since i last hear that you are down :( i hope that you will feel better soon!! its relieving to hear that you have someone imp. to share with tho :)
we're both weak... i hope we will fight the sicknesses together!!! i will tell u in private soon but im facing a kinda big health problem recently... it feels really lonely to have to visit the hospitals by myself and such.. just to let you know that u are not alone!!!
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